An undiscovered phobia?

I have worked in the same high rise building for almost 24 years.  My company has been on different floors during that time but we are currently occupying the entire 24th floor.  When the elevator is approaching our floor, I need to get my keys out because the office is locked when I arrive (God knows why I have to come in at the crack of dawn for heaven's sake!).

 

I have discovered recently that I may suffer from a new phobia.  It seems that I have become terrified that I will drop my keys down the elevator shaft.

 

I hold them in my right hand with a finger inside one of the metal rings. 

 

Where's the diamond?

Not good enough!  I also grip one of my decorative key rings in the palm of my hand.  Hard enough that it leaves a red mark for quite a while. 

  

This is my office key ring. I'm surprised it hasn't melted in my hot little hand.

Still. Not. Good. Enough.  I then hold my right hand up against my body so that if I DO drop the keys, they will hopefully slide down my leg and hit the floor versus falling down the shaft.  Occasionally, if I'm feeling especially frightened, I will go so far as to hold my left hand under my right hand as an extra safety measure.

 

A bit over the top?  Well, I’m just protecting myself from some sort of key trauma.  Yes, that’s it.

 

 

Out of curiosity. . . .

Is there anyone out there that still uses one of these?

The "world famous" orange peeler. Obtained at a Tupperware party I'm sure.

I have a couple of these things but haven't used one in a long time.  Angry and I got some oranges that are basically impossible to peel so I thought I'd dig one out and try it again.

I loved it!  What you see in the picture took me less than minute to accomplish.  The other two pieces of peel were off after I took the photo and I ate my orange in peace.  No struggling, no squirting juice in my eye, and no "fuck this, I give up" rants.

Technology. . . not always related to electronic gadgets!

Shopping for "unmentionables."

I was browsing on eBay for some Gossamer items today.

No, not the material.  The monster.

As in:


"My, I bet you monsters lead interesting lives."


He's the red monster from Warner Brothers and appears in a couple of cartoons with Bugs Bunny.  I love this guy.  I've named a cat after him and have collected Gossamer stuff for many years.

Anyway, I typed "Gossamer" in the search box and many, many pairs of underwear came up in my list of items.  There were thongs, boy shorts, bikinis, and hi-cut panties to choose from.  You name a color; I think it was on there.

Now, who buys (or sells for that matter) underwear on eBay?  I did not see any of the descriptions stating "new."  This just doesn't seem right.  Almost sort of naughty or even nasty in a way. 

To each his own but I'll shop at a local store to get my unmentionables.  It just feels a bit safer that way.

Mother Nature don't care!

Angry and I were in Mexico (I know, again!) in November and it was raining the day we were leaving.  This is rare since rainy season ends in October.

We were at breakfast that morning and while I was in line at the buffet I overheard a conversation:

Mad Lady:  "I've been coming to Puerto Vallarta this time of year for 22 years.  It's never rained in all those years."

Sympathetic Lady:  "I know.  We've never see rain like this either.  It's strange."

ML:  "I don't know what I'm going to do today.  What am I supposed to do when it rains?"

SL:  "It's still warm so you could do some walking on the beach.  Just wear your swim suit so then it doesn't matter if you get wet.  Or, head into town and shop in the flea market.  That's a covered building."

ML (on the verge of shouting):  "Well, I don't like this.  I don't like it ONE BIT."

SL:  Silence and blank stare.

Hey Mad Lady?  Get over it.  Mother Nature don't care. 

Such a Predicament

I purchased a "Plastic Package Opener" on the Interwebs last week.

You know those hard core packages that everything comes in?  You can't get them open to save your life and you almost always cut you finger(s) on the sharp edges.

I saw this thing and thought, "Genius!  A must have."  I think I may have also spoken those words out loud as I was truly impressed (and I talk to myself way too much).

It arrived on my doorstep this weekend and when I opened it, I was shocked.  Shocked I tell you.

It's packed in one of those plastic packages!  How the hell am I supposed to get that thing out of there without using that thing?


The package designer was obviously out sick the day this was invented.

I'm still thinking about it as it sits on my kitchen cupboard.  Wish me luck.