What's a Wazoo?

As I’ve told you before, I had the pleasure of living with my Grandma while I was growing up (here’s how she saved my life, sort of).

She was a Polish woman who cooked like magic and could tell stories that made you laugh so hard you would pee your pants.  She also had some interesting “sayings” and used some different unusual words.

Here are some of the things she’d say:

“That drives me up the wazoo.” – I’m not really sure what the hell a wazoo is but there are a lot of things that drive ME up the wazoo now a days.

“We’re off, like a herd of turtles.” – She always said this when we were getting ready to head to a store or a mall.  It was usually me, my Mom, and her going but sometimes we’d have an Aunt or two tag along for the ride.  I assume she meant that we were a pack of slow moving shoppers.  These are the kind of people that I hate to get stuck behind in the aisles.  We must have been annoying!

“You know what burns my ass?  A fire about this high.” – She’d hold her hand right next to her butt to show where that fire would burn.  I use this all the time.  I guess a lot of things burn my ass.

“Yell-o.” – That was how she answered the telephone.  It sounded like the color but with a hard accent on the “yell” part and a soft “o” sound.  I do not answer my phone that way as I think I’d confuse someone.  Of course, I text way more than I talk on the phone.  Maybe I should try it and see how it goes?

“Whatchamacallit” – This was a much-used word in her vocabulary.  Often several times in one sentence!  She used it for anything she couldn’t remember the name of.  Such as, “You know that whatchamacallit we saw in the store today?  I think it was on sale.”  Or, “I need one of those whatchamacallits that you use to fix glasses.”  This is used by enough other people that Microsoft’s spell check recognizes it.  I don’t tend you use this.  I’d rather say the “real” word which probably has less syllables.

“Dupa” – The Polish word for ass.  If she didn’t like you, she told you that you were a dupa.  In no uncertain terms.  I know a lot of dupas.  I like to call them that (sometimes to their face).  That way, I can say I speak Polish.

I'm reminded of her when I use these words and phrases.  She was a unique woman.  I wonder if she ever though those things would be sort of like a legacy?  Probably not, she was just speaking her mind.