Thursday, February 28, 2013

And the "eyes" have it!

I dozed off on the couch last night (working WAY too many hours and not sleeping well). 

You may be asking yourself, "Why is she telling me this?"

Well . . . I woke up around 10:30 pm and realized that I should be sleeping in my bed (next to an alarm clock).  I just ran off to bed without washing my face or brushing my teeth. 

You may be asking yourself (again!), "Why is she telling me this?"

Well. . . When I got up this morning and went into the bathroom, this is what greeted me in the mirror!

Look at the smeared makeup only. Do NOT look at the wrinkles!

Yikes!  It looks like I was in a bar fight last night and got a good ass whopping.  Black eyes?  Yes please.  Although, that may have been more fun than sleeping on the couch.  No?
Luckily I have some great makeup remover and soap.  I was all back to normal in a few minutes.  If I have to have a black eye (or two), that's the kind I want.


Friday, February 1, 2013

Eff you menopause!

I was getting ready for work today and having a hot flash.

Hey, hot flashes?  You can go straight to hell.

Anyway, try putting on a bra when your body is slick with sweat (sorry to my male readers as that's TMI).  And, putting on makeup with a sweaty face is impossible!

As I opened the back door to leave for work, the cold air felt heavenly on my overheated body.

But I started to wondering about something. . .

My temp was 500,000° (I didn't need a thermometer, I could just tell) which is slightly over the normal temp of  98.6°.  I felt like I would self-combust at any moment.

I walked outside and the temperature was 0°.

Could I catch a cold (sweaty, wet body into freezing air)?  Could my heart stop from the sudden temperature change?

One question was answered.  I'm still here so I didn't have a heart attack.

Right now I just want to say, "Fuck you menopause."