Do you want a piece of tail?

No, no, no.  It's not what you are thinking.  Get your dirty minds out of the gutter people!!

Somehow, Angry and I got into a discussion about eating a mouse.  I think beer was involved because, really, who even THINKS about eating a mouse?

The question came up, "Would you rather eat a mouse's tail or his legs?"

I'd eat the legs.  They have bones but you could crunch them up quick and swallow.  But, they are small so there isn't much meat.  I'm assuming that if I'm eating a mouse I'm in desperate need of sustenance.  No?

Angry said he wanted some tail.  Oh yeah, some tail!  His reasoning?  He thought he'd be able to slurp it down like a piece of spaghetti.  It'd go quickly and there's no crunchy bones to deal with.  Those bones, he figured, could get caught in your throat.  Choking on a mouse leg isn't a great way to meet your maker.

Bon appétit!

Shit! I almost forgot to post for NIAFPHFPPW today!

Don't forget that it's still "National Irritate a Food Pic Hater Food Pic Posting Week" or "NIAFPHFPPW" for short.  Bloggers unit!  Blog about your food (with pictures since that's the point) and enter Yabu's contest over at Bad Bad Juju.

Here's something I whipped up last Winter.

It's my Split Pea Soup.  That's not pee soup people; you couldn't split pee if you tried.

You put your split peas, water, carrots, onions, hock(s), and seasonings of your choice into a crock pot.  Note that I did not say "celery."  I do NOT use celery.  Read why here.

No, that's not a volcano in the middle; that's the hock!

Put the lid on and slow cook the hell of out of the concoction.  The hardest part is cutting all the yummy, porky goodness from the hock bone but it is worth all the effort (which in reality, isn't that much effort at all).

The beauty that appears many hours later looks like this:

You can't tell from the picture but there is NO celery in there.  And guess what. It's still delicious!

I've just now realized that I've blogged about this exact batch of soup before.  You can read more about my thoughts on peas if you are so inclined.

This will probably be my last post for the haters during NIAFPHFPPW Week.  I have 9 million (literally) errands this weekend and a wedding to attend.  No time for blogging when real life takes over.

I actually cooked something for my NIAFPHFPPW pictures!

As are reminder, it's still "National Irritate a Food Pic Hater Food Pic Posting Week" (or NIAFPHFPPW for short).  This cool idea was thought up by two great bloggers, Yabu at Bad Bad Juju and Laura at Fetch My Flying Monkeys.  Yabu likes to post pictures of his cooking and he gets some haters in his comments who think this is a bad idea.  To piss them off, he's started a contest on his blog.  Join in and blog about your food!  Too bad for the haters (NOT).

Last night was pasketti night.  Now that's not some cool, foreign dish.  That's how I used to say spaghetti when I was a kid.  Try saying it out loud because it's actually kind of cute:  PA-SKET-E.

Angry and I were in Galena, Illinois, in July and we found a great pasta store called Pasta Perfetta.  No, I'm not getting any freebies for posting their link here; I just like their stuff. 

We bought a bunch of flavored pasta there and they're delightful.  Last night we tried the Southwestern Chipotle flavor.  When it's done cooking all you need is some olive oil and, of course, cheese!  For those of you that were wondering, it does have a bit of heat to it.  Not enough to make your mouth burn but just a small kick to liven things up.

Does 'extra' virgin mean that it has never been kissed?

I'm from Wisconsin. We make (and love) cheese. I probably used half this sucker!

 
I set the pasta to boil for four minutes:

Don't forget to cook your pasta. It's too crunchy otherwise!

As usual, I needed wanted some booze so I opened some wine (also from Galena):

Did I drink the entire bottle? I'm not telling.

We added some garlic bread to our dinner.  Unfortunately, it is store bought.  I'm a lazy cook (and a crummy one to boot) so this is what you get at my house!

Directions: 1. Open box 2. Put on cookie sheet 3. Bake

The pasta was cooked to perfection (if I do say so myself), tossed with the olive oil, and topped with shredded cheese.  Easy peasy and tasty.

More wine please!

Oh, and let's not forget the fancy schmancy dessert that I served:

What can I say? I love chocolate and it's good for the soul!

Dinner was served in less than 15 minutes and that includes spending a lot of time taking pictures!!  Hey haters?  I hope you enjoy your misery as much as I enjoyed my dinner!

I'm bored so you get to see more food pics that I'm posting for the haters!

Here's another post for "National Irritate a Food Pic Hater Food Pic Posting Week" (or NIAFPHFPPW for short).  Remember that this was created by Yabu (post your food pics and get into his contest!) and Laura.

I'm doing desserts today (because I was too lazy to cook last night).  I've enjoyed these at various restaurants and bars.

Who doesn't love cheesecake?  Here's one a friend of mine ordered at Cheesecake Factory:

Oreos in (and on) a cheesecake.  Dessert extraordinaire!



 

Angry got a free meal at  Red Robin for his birthday in August.  He wanted a dessert to celebrate.  We ordered a salted caramel shake.  By the way, how DO you say that?  Is it CARE-A-MEL or CAR-MEL?  Either way, I can promise you that this shake was to die for.

You can't see the salt but it was in there!

This could technically be considered an appetizer, a meal, OR dessert!  We ordered some awesome Blood Marys when we were in Seattle.  The one on the left (that was mine) had an oyster on the stick (the white thing on the far left).  Drinking that was an OMG moment for me.  Delightful!

Appetizer? Dinner? Dessert? Who cares; just drink!

How are you all doing out there haters?  Enjoying my pictures?

Damn, now I want a Bloody Mary.  It's 10:30 am and I'm at work.  That would be frowned upon so I guess I'll stick to my coffee.

A new post for the food pic haters out there!

Let's not forget that it's "National Irritate a Food Pic Hater Food Pic Posting Week (NIAFPHFPPW)!"

Last night's dinner (for all the haters out there) was made for a lazy evening.

We started with three simple ingredients of turkey sausage with three cheeses, tomatoes, and an avocado.

It don't get much easier than this!

Before beginning the food prep, I needed to prep myself!

Cooking is so much more fun when alcohol is involved. Trust me.

I chopped the tomatoes and sprinkled them with some incredible Italian olive oil and Hawaiian sea salt:

See the pretty tomatoes?

I made them even better with some seasonings!

The sausages were grilled to perfection by Angry:

YUMMY! 

I chopped the avocado at the last minute to prevent it from turning brown (and sprinkled it with some Chili Verde sea salt) and we had a great dinner!!

I never said I was a chef but this tasted delightful for a Summer dinner.

Haters?  Go ahead a hate.  I enjoyed my dinner and I enjoyed sharing my pictures with you!

If you're a hater, you're gonna get irritated!

One of my favorite bloggers, Laura at Fetch My Flying Monkeys, was having a conversation with one of my other favorite bloggers, Yabu at Bad Bad Juju (check the "My Favorite Reading" link to see all my favorites).  As you can see from the link above, she pointed out on her blog that Yabu has some "haters" in his comment section who don't like that he posts food photos on HIS OWN BLOG. 

So, they have decided that this week is "National Irritate a Food Pic Hater Food Pic Posting Week" or NIAFPHFPPW for short.

To copy from her (You can't sue me Laura since I used quotes!):

"If you have a blog, it is your civic duty as a blogger to post your irritating food pics all week long. Every. Day. Join in the fun! Piss off a hater! And while you’re at it, reply to your commenters in your comment section ’cause that pisses ‘em off too!"

I'm obviously going to join in all the fun. 

Here's today's food picture:



I didn't cook this but it was yummy!

It's from a bar in Galena, Illinois.  It was my first taste of bone marrow and it rocked.  I'm going to make some at home one of these days.

Copying Laura again with some really good news:

"Yabu decided to have a food photo contest on his site in honor of NIAFPHFPPW and will be giving away a beautiful handmade stained glass piece that his wife makes! You don’t have to have a blog, you can email pics if you want AND you can enter as many times as you want! Go over there and leave your linkage or email your food pics and start pissing off a food pic hater today!"

So, I encourage anyone with a blog to join in the fun.  Or don't, since that will give me a better chance at some beautiful stained glass!!

Two peas in a pod?

I made split pea soup in my crockpot on Sunday.  We'll be having it for dinner tonight (pea soup needs to sit a few days to let the flavors merge).

Pea soup - the before shot.  That's not a volcano, it's a ham hock.

Pea soup - the after shot.  YUM!

That got me thinking about the fact that when I was a kid I hated detested loathed peas.  I'd spit them in my napkin and try to toss it out before my Mom could see me.  Once, I actually claimed I had to go pee during dinner and fell asleep on the toilet because I didn't want to go back to eat my peas.

I like peas now.  However, I prefer the mushy canned peas over the oddly colored frozen peas that don't look quite natural.  Is that green really a color?

But, I've always loved pea soup even as a kid.  How is that possible?

This blog post really has nothing to do with anything except to reconfirm the fact that I'm weird.

FOOD, FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD (and some shopping too)!

Since I told you what I wanted to eat at the State Fair, I guess I should tell you what I actually tried.

I went twice.  Spent 14 hours with my BFF, Weezy, on opening day and then Angry and went after work one night and noshed our way through some more goodies.

Day one, in order of “tastings”:

Deep Fried Pickles – While this wasn’t on my list of things to try, both Weezy and I really like these things!  We decided that this was a healthy option as pickles are technically vegetables.  Right?

It's a veggie. It's healthy!

Chocolate Covered Fritos – These were good but a little strange.  I’m a fan of sweet and salty but Fritos have a “spice” on them that was kind of weird with the chocolate.  I’ll stick to chocolate covered pretzels for that type of taste.

Chocolate and Fritos. Next big thing for people with the munchies?



Deep Fried Bacon with Country Gravy – This was really good! The bacon was super crispy.  I could have done without the gravy though as it didn’t do anything to the bacon.



Lordy, bacon is better than it was before!



Deep Fired Butter – These were small dough balls filled will melted butter (about a teaspoon in each?).  They also had powdered sugar on them.  I was very lucky because Weezy tried the first one.  It basically exploded, sending butter everywhere.  Luckily, she only got butter on her hands and arms and not on her clothes.  I learned from her how NOT to eat them.  We both said, at first, that they were pretty good.  About an hour later, we decided they were kinda' gross.  Why the change of heart?  I’m not sure.

Is there a magical surprise in there?

A puddle of butter. Maybe just a little gross?

Chocolate Covered Bacon – This is served cold so the chocolate can harden and cover the bacon.  I didn’t like it.  The cold strips of fat in the bacon were the turn off.

Bacon makes everything better EXCEPT chocolate. Fact.

Cookie Dough Fondue – Also something not on my original list but it looked good so we tried it.  We didn’t share these as we wanted different flavors.  You got a cold “glob” of cookie dough on a stick dipped in a "fondue" and sprinkled with a topping.  I picked toffee cookie dough dipped in caramel with coconut topping.  It tasted pretty good (and the cold dough on a hot day was a treat) but my choices made it too sweet to finish.

Cookie dough made better by science. Food science that is.

Tropical Fruit Tempura – This is another healthy option because it's fruit.  Don't laugh.  I think I got one that was sitting under the heat lamp too long.  My tempura batter was only slightly warm and the fruit was mushy.  It tasted OK but I think I could have given it an “I love it” rating if it had been fresh out of the fryer.



Cold batter + mushy fruit = just OK (but healthy because it's fruit!).

Swiss Cheese in Rye – We killed two birds with one stone here.  Deep fried cheese that was also on a stick.  A big hunk of Swiss cheese surrounded by rye batter and fried.  All I can say is, “YUMMY!”

This is pure genius!

Cream Puff – Our State Fair is known for their cream puffs.  It’s a “must do” when you are there.  At this point, Weezy and I had pretty much had our fill of goodies.  We decided to split a puff and that worked out great.  These are really good as they are made fresh constantly.  It was the perfect way to top off our food filled day.

World famous Cream Puff from the WI State Fair!

Day two, in order of “tastings”:

Deep Fried Beer – These were like raviolis filled with beer.  The ravioli dough was “blah” and the beer was warm (of course it was, they just deep fried the damn things).  Not sure why they added the cheese.  I’m glad I tried but would skip this next time.

What the hell is with the crappy cheese?

Fried Oysters – A “just because I like oysters” thing for me.  Plus, they were on a stick!  Angry wanted to try the deep fried bacon so I went with this.  They were fresh and yummy.



Fried ocean goodness!



Maple Bacon Sundae – Vanilla ice cream with bacon and maple syrup.  I wasn’t too sure I’d like this but it was really good.  The cold bacon fat was not an issue because the bacon was chopped so you didn’t “notice” the fatty parts.  A good mix of sweet and salty.



Bacon makes almost everything better (see above for the one exception).



Elvis – Not the real Elvis!  These were deep fried peanut butter cups in banana batter (on a stick too!).  I LOVE peanut butter cups and I love bananas.  This was actually pretty darn good.  The peanut butter and chocolate was at a perfect melting point and the batter had just the right amount of banana flavor.

Oh. my. god.

Pulled Pork Sandwich – We felt we needed something “real” that wasn’t candy, cheese, or deep fried.  This hit the spot and was a great size to share.  The pork was infused with IPA beer; beer is good.  

Real food?



Deep Fried Peanut Butter and Jelly – I’m a huge fan of warm, melty peanut butter.  This was really good.  They didn’t get carried away with the jelly either as there was just enough to give it a slightly sweet taste.

PB&J made better by a deep fryer.

Spaghetti and Meatballs on a Stick – While this was pretty generic, we had to try it.  How do ya get noodles on a stick you might ask.  How about IN the meatballs?  The meat didn’t have much seasoning and the sauce was sort of like Ragu but it was worth a try to see how it was done.

Where's the noodles?



Here they are! Packed into the meatball.

Swiss Cheese in Rye (again) – I liked this so much that I told Angry we should have needed it.  He didn’t argue and agreed that it was awesome.  You are not getting another picture.  It looked exactly the same!  Exactly.

Cream Puff (again) – Well, you can’t go to the Fair and miss the cream puffs.  Angry and I were in the same "we already ate too much" boat so we shared.  A nice treat to end the night.

I think we got more cream in this one!

So, what crap did I get suckered into buying?

Mr. Sticky – HEY! Get your mind out of the gutter!  This removes pet hair and crumbs.  I got cats. I got crumbs. I now have a Mr. Sticky.  So far, I like it.

This is not an adult toy.

Sweep Express – This is a rubber broom.  It does not do what its name implies.  Sweeping is still time consuming.  I already own one of these but the bristles are “mushing” together.  I needed a new one.  I talked Weezy into one so we could get the Mega Pack.

Doesn't really make sweeping an "express" job.

Saw -  Sorry, this thing doesn't have a fancy schmancy name.  It's just a garden saw.  Angry and I need this for the back yard.  That’s what the sales guy said.  I like the looks of it and hope I don’t cut myself.  If I do, you’ll know about it as soon as I’m able to type again.



This thing will cut a small tree with ease! Or, maybe my hand.



Now I have a year to think about what crazy food and shopping items they may come up with next!

Celery is evil.

You may be asking yourself “why?”  Or maybe not.  Either way, please allow me to explain:

1.   It tastes yucky gross horrible!  I feel the taste is like old sweat socks if you dared to eat them.

2.   It’s an ugly shade of green.  I am a big fan of the color green.  I own lots of green clothing and several pairs of green shoes.  But celery is the most unappealing, almost sickening, shade.

3.   It smells funny.  Sort of like a cross between old wet grass and puke.

4.   It is stringy.  Who really wants to get those strings caught between their teeth?

5.   People try to “jazz it up” with things like peanut butter and Cheese Whiz.  If it’s so great, why the need to add stuff to it?

6.   It spoils a pretty plate of chicken wings.  What’s the use?  If you need something to cool the heat, use the blue cheese dressing!

These wings would rock if the celery was gone.

 My Grandma used to add celery to almost everything she cooked.  I'd constantly remind her of my disdain for it.  She would say: "You can't even taste it."  Then why use it?  She'd also say: "It adds crunch."  In soup?  Not so much.


I can find the most minuscule piece of celery in any food item you place in front of me.  I can taste it and smell it in ANYTHING.  I spend inordinate amounts of time picking it out of stuff.


Stop the madness.  Outlaw celery immediately.

Taking My Fortunes Too Literally?

I had two fortune cookies at lunch today.  I LOVE them.  I will try to enlighten you, dear readers, by telling you that these make a good snack or dessert at only 30 calories and 0 fats each.

I read my fortunes and I have some questions.

"You are going to have a very comfortable old age."
Comfy how?  A nice chair to sit in?  Good, arthritis free joints?  A warm blankie when it's cold in the house?  Lots of money to buy shoes and other necessities?
How old is old?  Do I have to wait until I'm in my 90s or will it be sooner?

"Everything will now come your way."
What's everything and how's it coming?  Some good movies delivered by Netflix?  A giant check delivered by Publishers Clearing House?  New shoes delivered by UPS?  Money falling from trees (where I wish it did actually grow)?  Some cute new clothes from a favorite store (hmmm. . . I think that means I'd have to go get those instead of them "coming" my way)?
What defines now?  Will it all come my way this instant?

Am I taking these things too literally?  I think not.  I believe I have legitimate questions that need to be answered.  And don't forget, I haven't even added the necessary "in bed" to the end of these things.  I am certainly not going THERE now.  That will create even more questions that are probably best left unasked.