Tuesday, April 24, 2012

That's what I hired YOU for!

As my man, Angry has a list of duties that are his and his alone.

ü    He is in charge of filling my car with gas.  Men love cars.  Cars need gas.  MY car needs gas.

ü    He is in charge of lawn care.  When I was in college, the city I lived in allowed you to work for them for two summers.  I was in the “Lawn and Garden” Department one of my years.  I mowed grass (using both riding and push mowers) five days a week, eight hours a day for three months.  That was enough grass cutting for my lifetime.  I will never, ever cut grass again as long as I live.  If Angry quits, I will just live with that ensuing jungle.

ü    He is in charge of snow removal.  I hate cold and snow (and exercise in general).  That’s all he (and you) needs to know.

ü    He is in charge of making lunches.  I cook dinner.  I do all the dishes that can’t go into the dishwasher (a job that I hate despise).  His comparable job is to make our “brown bag” lunches for work.  I think he got the easier job (and, I want a raise!).

ü    He is in charge of taking the garbage out.  This is a man’s job.  Women should not have to deal with disgusting bags of garbage.  My rules only, but he has to follow them (so says me).

ü    He is in charge of carrying any heavy bags.  This means grocery bags as well as shopping bags at the mall.  I drag him with me to the mall just so he can handle the bags of shoes I accumulate.  Men are strong; they should carry the heavy stuff even if it’s my shoes.

ü    He is in charge of matching his own socks.  I do all the laundry.  I fold everything.  He can putz with putting together all the totally similar white socks that he wears.  Problem is, he tends to keep the ones with holes in them.  I need to re-train him to throw those away!

I married hired him almost 21 years ago.  This information is all on that license contract he signed!  You know, till death do us part.


Vegas Linda Lou said...

You're a lucky woman! I once heard that if your man doesn't take out the garbage, you should get all dolled up--heels and everything--and take it out yourself; just make sure all the neighbors are watching. He won't forget next time!

Liz said...

Linda - I'm NOT so lucky. I have to remind him over and over to take that damn garbage out! He seems to "forget" about it too much. I may try the "getting dolled up" routine and see what happens!! HA!

Pat said...

When we lived full-time in our fifth wheel, we had "blue" jobs (not to be mistaken for "blow-jobs") and "pink" jobs. Blue jobs were everything outside of the trailer: dumping the tanks, fixing things, taking the garbage out. Pink jobs were everything inside - mainly the cleaning. Granted, he DID do the dishes a lot, but would just drain the water and leave all that gunk in the sink. Enough to make me want to puke. Or, I'd have to rewash at least ONE item every time he'd do dishes. I think he'd do this purposely so I'd say, "Forget about doing the dishes because you suck at it!"

Liz said...

Pat I totally get the "I did it wrong so you will do it from now on" way to go. I'd never, ever let the Hubby do laundry. He did one load in our time together and it was a mess. He's also admitted that he'd dump as much in the washer that fit no matter the color or type of material. No Way!! I'll do that job, thank you very much. :-)

Linda and her Twaddle said...

I hired mine to pick up giant spiders and he has done that very well over the past 21 years.

Also takes out rubbish and other smelly things.

Simone said...

Mine is good at emptying the trash and bringing in the groceries and also doing the laundry. He also cooks too. i guess, now that I think about it, I'm pretty lucky.

Liz said...

Linda - I forgot about the bugs! I don't touch them as they make me want to gag. He does that too. I guess I'll keep him! HA!

Simone - As much as I "complain," I know I'm super lucky. I've snagged a good one and stuck with him (to train him!) for 21 years. It's good to feel loved and lucky isn't it?