Who sings in the shower?

I’m lucky to have married someone who has a great singing voice.  Angry enjoys belting out a tune and I love to hear him do it.  He sings a lot.  Sometimes I think he’s talking to me but I don't hear him clearly.  When I ask him what he said, he tells me: “Nothing, I was just singing.”

One of my favorite things in the world is hearing him sing in the shower (the acoustics are great!).  What I find interesting is his strange way of mashing his musical choices together.  He may start with a snippet of Nelly followed by a few bars of Elvis.  Then, he’ll suddenly break into some Johnny Cash with a little bit of Motley Crue tossed in for good measure.  Sometimes he even hums music that doesn’t have lyrics (maybe something from the Big Band Era).  I often ask him: “Where did that come from?”  His usual response is: “I don’t know; it just popped into my head.”

It’s almost an adventure to see (or should I say hear?) where his songs will go.  One that puts a smile on my face and joy in my heart.

Celery is evil.

You may be asking yourself “why?”  Or maybe not.  Either way, please allow me to explain:

1.   It tastes yucky gross horrible!  I feel the taste is like old sweat socks if you dared to eat them.

2.   It’s an ugly shade of green.  I am a big fan of the color green.  I own lots of green clothing and several pairs of green shoes.  But celery is the most unappealing, almost sickening, shade.

3.   It smells funny.  Sort of like a cross between old wet grass and puke.

4.   It is stringy.  Who really wants to get those strings caught between their teeth?

5.   People try to “jazz it up” with things like peanut butter and Cheese Whiz.  If it’s so great, why the need to add stuff to it?

6.   It spoils a pretty plate of chicken wings.  What’s the use?  If you need something to cool the heat, use the blue cheese dressing!

These wings would rock if the celery was gone.

 My Grandma used to add celery to almost everything she cooked.  I'd constantly remind her of my disdain for it.  She would say: "You can't even taste it."  Then why use it?  She'd also say: "It adds crunch."  In soup?  Not so much.


I can find the most minuscule piece of celery in any food item you place in front of me.  I can taste it and smell it in ANYTHING.  I spend inordinate amounts of time picking it out of stuff.


Stop the madness.  Outlaw celery immediately.

A really good weekend or a really bad weekend?

I pulled into the parking garage in my office building very early this morning (before 5 am).  Something caught my eye and I thought to myself, "What kind of animal gets into a 10 story parking garage in a Downtown office building and gets itself run over?"

Upon exiting my car, I noticed that this "thing" I saw wasn't really an expired animal after all.

Good god; it was someone's hair weave!!  And yes, for blogging purposes, I stopped to take a photo.

Was it a good weekend or a bad weekend?  From the look of things, I'd say bad.  Very, very bad.

Taking My Fortunes Too Literally?

I had two fortune cookies at lunch today.  I LOVE them.  I will try to enlighten you, dear readers, by telling you that these make a good snack or dessert at only 30 calories and 0 fats each.

I read my fortunes and I have some questions.

"You are going to have a very comfortable old age."
Comfy how?  A nice chair to sit in?  Good, arthritis free joints?  A warm blankie when it's cold in the house?  Lots of money to buy shoes and other necessities?
How old is old?  Do I have to wait until I'm in my 90s or will it be sooner?

"Everything will now come your way."
What's everything and how's it coming?  Some good movies delivered by Netflix?  A giant check delivered by Publishers Clearing House?  New shoes delivered by UPS?  Money falling from trees (where I wish it did actually grow)?  Some cute new clothes from a favorite store (hmmm. . . I think that means I'd have to go get those instead of them "coming" my way)?
What defines now?  Will it all come my way this instant?

Am I taking these things too literally?  I think not.  I believe I have legitimate questions that need to be answered.  And don't forget, I haven't even added the necessary "in bed" to the end of these things.  I am certainly not going THERE now.  That will create even more questions that are probably best left unasked.

I swear like a drunken sailor!

Please don’t take any offense all you drunken sailors out there!

I've never been one to mince words, even if they include some of the four letter type.  I am careful to keep the colorful language to a minimum when I'm out and about in public (especially if kids are around).  I tend to swear mainly when I'm in my office at work or at home.

The biggest reason I drop an eff-bomb or two (or 100), is sports.  While I'm watching or listening to my favorite sports teams, I become an emotional wreck.  If the game isn't going the way I think it should be, I become agitated and tend to swear like crazy a drunken sailor.  Eff-bombs spout faster than oil was gushing from BP's well.  I also, much to the chagrin of my hubby (a/k/a Angry), do a lot of fist pumping and use a very loud voice.  Timid and meek, I'm not.

Bad as this may be (at least for those around me); I've also become just as emotional while watching sports teams that mean virtually nothing to me.  I can watch an NFL, MLB, NBA, or NCAA game with teams in games that don't affect my team or division and still get way too emotionally involved.  It's the same eff-bomb, fist pumping, and loud voice scenario. 

I think I need some "help."  Angry explains to me that "it's just a game" over and over.  How do I adjust and stop this silliness?  I don't think that will ever happen.  I'll keep the eff-bomb brigade alive and well!