Thursday, November 10, 2011

A major vacation crisis!

Also known as “get the hell over it.”

We were just in Mexico for a week at our favorite resort in Puerto Vallarta.

As our usual routine demanded required worked out, we had breakfast one morning and headed to the pool to relax and enjoy the day.  We got to the pool around 9 am.  Unfortunately, the Pool Bar doesn’t open until 11 am.  Why yes, I was ready for a drink at 9 am.  Don't judge.  Thank God Luckily, they have another bar a few hundred feet away (called the Pub Bar).  We like to start our days with a drink called Dirty Monkey.  It’s basically a shake made with brandy, Kahlua, cream, and bananas.  Quite a lovely way to work up to tequila.

Anyway, on to the crisis.

That particular morning I told Angry that I’d go to the bar to get our drinks when we overheard a couple discussing what they were going to get from the bar.  The woman wanted a Bloody Mary and the guy asked her to get him a mimosa.

She walked to the bar just in front of me.  I arrived and heard this conversation:

Bloody Mary Drinking Woman:  I need a Bloody Mary and a mimosa with lots of champagne and very little orange juice.

Sad Looking Bartender:  I’m sorry, we ran out of champagne and the next shipment should arrive in two or three hours.  I’m so sorry.

BMDW (in a flabbergasted voice):  Well, he certainly won’t drink a Bloody Mary.  What am I going to do? What am I going to do?

SLB:  Looked at her with questioning eyes.  Probably thinking, “Does she want me to answer that?”

BMDW:  Oh boy, I don’t know what he’ll want to drink now.  He wanted a mimosa (her voice steadily increasing to a high pitched whine).  If there’s no champagne, I don’t know what do to.

I wanted to say, “Hey lady, the bar is FILLED will different types of booze.  Brandy, rum, tequila, Kahlua, flavored schnapps, vodka, Galliano, gin, scotch, wine, and beer.  That’s a lot to choose from.  If there’s no champagne, why can’t you find one other thing he’d drink?  Plus, there is a huge list of frou-frou drinks you can order.”  However, I kept my trap shut.

She was so upset that she didn’t know what to say or do.  She stood there looking around in a panic as I ordered my drinks.  Her husband eventually made it to the bar and ordered something as I left.  I didn’t hear what it was though and now I’m curious.

I must say that if Angry asked me for a drink and they didn’t have what he wanted, I know him well enough to pick something else that he’d enjoy.  Obviously this was beyond her grasp.

I went back for another Dirty Money a short while later.  A different woman was at the bar asking for mimosas.

The conversation went like this:

Lady In Need Of Mimosas:  I need three mimosas. - NOTE: I'm not sure why she needed three as she was there alone.  I won't judge.

Hard Working Bartender:  We are out of champagne but should get some in about two hours.

LINOM:  Oh OK, I’ll come back in a couple of minutes then.

HWB:  No, I’ll have some in a couple of hours.  Two hours.

LINOM (quite loudly):  TWO HOURS!!??

HWB:  Si, two hours.  I’m sorry but we ran out and the truck won’t deliver until later.

LINOM:  Oh my GOD, what am I going to drink?

The bartender had the same look as before as if he was thinking, “Do you really want me to answer that?”

As she stood there looking panicked, I ordered my drinks, watched them being made, thanked the bartender, and began walking back to our pool chairs.  Meanwhile, she was still mumbling and grumbling about not knowing what to order.

Gosh, a major champagne crisis!  How terribly awful. 

Get the hell over it people and drink something else.

Must this really be a crisis?


Vegas Linda Lou said...

You can wait until 11 a.m. to drink on vacation? You're a better woman than I am!

Pat said...

C'mon! Everybody knows you should have a back-up drink for just this reason! Sh*t happens, my friend!

Liz said...

Linda - We don't necessarily wait, we just start when we happen to be when we got out butts to the pool!! HA!

Pat - Back up drinks are essential. I don't understand why the panic from these women. Like I said, they have enough types of booze that everyone should be able to find something! :-)