Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Pay attention!

I took a walk Downtown the other day to meet a friend for lunch.

It was 60 degrees, sunny, and breezy.

I looked around and paid attention to what I saw:

Men and women in business suits (both skirts and pants for the women) with a variety of shoes.  Most of the men were wearing their dress shoes but some had on tennis shoes.  The women’s choices ranged from tennis shoes to low heeled sandals and pumps to super high heels that made me wonder how they could even walk in them.

Damn, these are adorable but how do you walk in them?

Lots of women and men wearing shorts and t-shirts as they were heading to Gold’s Gym.  Some went as far as wearing tank tops.  They must have been chilled a bit, especially on the shady side of the street.

A teenager in short shorts, a teeny tiny tank top, and flip flops.  I’m not sure where she was heading.

An older gentleman in a parka and winter hat.  He looked like he was cold even in that attire.

A group of kids getting off a school bus in front of the local theatre to see a play.  Most were wearing typical kid (5th or 6th grader) clothes which consisted of jeans and t-shirts or sweatshirts.  They were having fun goofing around.

Men and women wearing khakis and dress shirts.  Most of them had on light spring jackets since they didn’t have a suit coat to keep the wind off their arms.

No one posed for a picutre. I had to borrow one from the Interwebs.

A group of about 8 or 10 people walking together all carrying birthday presents in pretty wrapping paper and bags.  One gal was holding a "Happy Birthday" balloon which was blowing around in the breeze!

You must pretend the blowing wind is making this balloon crooked!  Work with me here.

A homeless man in a t-shirt and sweatpants who was asking everyone for their spare change.  I didn’t see anyone give him any.

There was a mix of people wearing sunglasses and those that weren’t.  Those that weren’t were squinting and probably wished they had worn theirs.

I saw several baseball caps and even a beret.

The beret wearer I saw was a little more lively than this!

Several people were carrying bags from local fast food places and restaurants back to their offices.  It was fun to see what everyone was having for their lunch.

I loved the diversity and mixture of things that I saw.  To each his own!  I hope everyone enjoyed their workouts, their play, their time away from their offices, their birthday party, and their lunches!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to ME?

We sat down at our favorite local pub and grill to visit with our Saturday night bartenders (on Saturday, believe it or not!).  I'll call our bartender buddies "P" and "R."

Sitting across from us was another couple that are regulars and we six were having fun chatting with each other.  There was also a “gentleman” sitting to my right who seemed to want to constantly interrupt us.  I'll anoint him "Annoying Loudmouth Guy" (ALG for short).

We had ordered some Girl Scout cookies from Bartender P and he gave us a box to take to our car.  We joked that we'd ordered an entire case even though it was a small box.  ALG jumped into that conversation and said, "Wow!  You bought a ton of cookies.  I assume you are sharing with everyone at the bar?  How many are in there?  What kind did you buy?  How come you got a whole box full?"

I thought:  If I share, it will be with people I know.  Not some guy who can't shut his mouth about my cookies.

At one point, we were teasing our friend across the bar about being a Chicago Cubs fan and his long wait for a World Series appearance (let alone a victory!).  Suddenly, right in the middle of our teasing ALG says shouts, “I think there’s something wrong with the TV colors.  What do you guys think?  The reds and oranges stand out too much.  Don't ya think?” 

I thoughtWell now, if you wanted to join our conversation, how about talking about the Cubs or at least something sports related?  Otherwise, zip it.

Bartender P stopped in front of us and asked, “What’s new with you guys since last Saturday?”  Before either one of us could open our mouths to answer, ALG asked (me, I think), “Do you like seafood?  I know a great place nearby for seafood.”  Then he began telling me about a place we’ve visited many times.  I explained that to him and he insisted on telling me all about it. 

I thoughtWhat the hell?  Why do you keep interrupting us?  And shut up about the restaurant that I know quite well.

He was like a young child that wants to talk to Mommy when she is talking to another adult.  Usually kids are told, "You have to wait your turn.  Let Mommy finish talking to Susie and then you can tell me what you want to say."

He continued to shout things out in the middle of our conversations.  We tried struggled to be nice.  Don't get me wrong; I have no problems talking to strangers at bars and restaurants.  As long as they act like adults and join in the actual conversation that's going on instead of shouting out unrelated things.

After we were there for a while, I overheard him talking to Bartender R.  Here’s how that conversation went: 

Annoying Loudmouth Guy:  I was brought up Jewish.  But, I had the opportunity and calling to join the Priesthood.  I was going to join the ‘blah blah blah blah blah’ (it was a long, long list of names that I don’t care to remember) seminary in Chicago.

Bartender R (feigning interest):  Well, that’s quite a tongue twister.

ALG:  I was just about to join when I had an epiphany.

BR (rolling his eyes):  That’s interesting.

ALG:  My epiphany was that I’m atheist.  I’m an atheist.

BR (walking away as quickly as he could):  Well, that’s quite the flip-flop isn’t it?

I’m not sure that’s something you tell a complete stranger.  Did he assume that his bartenders cared enough to want to hear that?  Or maybe he thought that because he'd been there for a while (a couple of hours?) he was now best friends with P and R?

I know that the rest of us in the bar weren’t all that interested in his epiphany story.  Until he left.  Then we discussed it (and him) in great detail.

Monday, March 5, 2012

Don't you look handsome?

I was at a pet supply store a while ago and witnessed something I found interesting.

I have a cat and I talk to her.  I’m guessing everyone with a pet talks to them.  Every morning when I leave for work, I tell Abbey to “be a good girl” and “I’ll see you later when I get home from work.”  That sets a routine for your pets to expect you to return every day.

I also ask her when I get home, “Where you a good kitty today?”  Or, “You didn’t cause any trouble today did you Abbey?”

If we have a windowsill filled with birds, I’ll call to her, “Abbey you better check the window, those birds look yummy!"  Don't call PETA on me.  She's not allowed outside and eating birds is only a dream of hers.

I obviously don’t get any "human" answers that consist of actual words (and I certainly don't expect any!) but she loves to talk.  She meows constantly and when you talk to her, she always answers.

I’ve never felt that I got too carried away with this.  I know it for a fact now after what I saw at the pet supply store.

I was shopping for some new canned cat food.  It was taking me quite a while as I was reading all the labels and searching for holistic foods with natural ingredients and good flavors.

Nearby was the isle with pet “clothes.”  They have a large assortment of sweaters and coats, including rain gear.  There are some biker outfits with faux leather vests and pants (maybe chaps?).  They even have tutus and dresses for the gals.  Halloween brings out all the cute costumes as well.

A woman was in that isle taking different outfits out of the packages and putting them onto her little dog.  He was small and fluffy.  Some sort of yappy type dog (maybe a Shih Tzu or a Pomeranian?).  Now, yappy dog owners do not take any offense.  We all have the perfect pet.  It those dogs are yours, great! 

She’d put something on the dog and say, “Well, don’t you look handsome?”  That's pretty normal and even I’d say that!  That’s an observation by us pet owners that does not require an answer.  My Abbey is beautiful and I tell her things like that all the time.

You don't have to tell me; I know I'm gorgeous!

After the handsome comment, what I found interesting was how she continued talking to her dog during this process to find an the perfect outfit. 

Here’s what I heard and what I think the dog would have said if he could have.

LADY WITH SMALL, YAPPY DOG:  Would you rather have the black vest or the brown vest?

YAPPY DOG THAT CAN’T REALLY SPEAK:  They are both neutral lady; you can pick one!

LWSYD:  Do you think that’s too frilly for you?

YDTCRS:  Anything frilly is not appropriate for a male dog.  How's about some more leather stuff instead?

LWSYD:  Is that too tight?  Should we try a bigger size?

YDTCRS:  Take a close look.  If I have a muffin top or my “junk” is being squeezed, it’s too tight.  I think you can figure this out without my input.

LWSYD:  Should we get you a coat?  This winter could be cold.

YDTCRS:  I have fur!  Long, fluffy fur!  That's a coat isn't it?

LWSYD:  I know you’d look a little silly but the tutus are cute!  What do you think?

YDTCRS:  If you buy me a tutu, I’m running away to find a new owner.  Stop the madness!

When I found the food I wanted to buy, she was still there chatting with her dog.  I felt a little “dirty” listening in on their conversation so I left.

I still wonder what sort of outfits he ended up with.  Was he happy with them?