Friday, February 1, 2013

Eff you menopause!

I was getting ready for work today and having a hot flash.

Hey, hot flashes?  You can go straight to hell.

Anyway, try putting on a bra when your body is slick with sweat (sorry to my male readers as that's TMI).  And, putting on makeup with a sweaty face is impossible!

As I opened the back door to leave for work, the cold air felt heavenly on my overheated body.

But I started to wondering about something. . .

My temp was 500,000° (I didn't need a thermometer, I could just tell) which is slightly over the normal temp of  98.6°.  I felt like I would self-combust at any moment.

I walked outside and the temperature was 0°.

Could I catch a cold (sweaty, wet body into freezing air)?  Could my heart stop from the sudden temperature change?

One question was answered.  I'm still here so I didn't have a heart attack.

Right now I just want to say, "Fuck you menopause."


Pat said...

Oh, I hear you, sista! I suffered from "peri-menopause" for 14 years BEFORE the REAL thing which meant that I had hot flashes even before I was supposed to! WTF? I worked at a small library which was in a brick building. In the dead of winter I used to step outside (in the back), with no coat on, and press my body up against the cold bricks, spreading my arms out like the shape of a "T"; either that or it looked like I was getting crucified in the back of the building. I swear I'd see steam coming off of my arms! When I finally cooled off, I would come back into the building cooler and much, much happier!

Ricki said...

I went through the "pause" several years ago, and still once in a while, when out shopping or whatever, I'll have a "hot" moment. I always tell whoever I'm with that I'm burning up with fever. Several times I have had to step out on the deck in the cold or stand over the a/c vent when trying to get ready to go somewhere. Now I'm pretty excited about the facial hair thing. Sucks!

Liz said...

Pat, the cool bricks sound great! I work in a high rise on a very busy street. I don't think that will work foe me. Ha! Why do us women have to "suffer?"

Liz said...

Ricki, for some reason I've had bad chin hair for a looong time. Had it lazered off! If it gets worse now, I'm gonna be pissed! Ha!