Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign . . .

I was at a hospital lab the other day to get a blood draw and give a piss urine sample.

I let them suck about 100 tubes of blood (OK, it was only three but my phlebotomist wasn't very gentle).

Why yes, this was the actual syringe she used!

Then I was off to the bathroom to pee in a teeny tiny cup.

I picked a stall, went in, and closed the door.  Here's what greeted me behind that door:

I did use my cell phone camera in the bathroom but I did it BEFORE I peed!


Do people actually flush things like pens, cell phones, and pagers?  And someone had to add keys and shoes to the sign?  Shoes?  I could "maybe" see the other items.  Maybe . . .but only if you had them in your pocket and dropped them into the toilet by accident while pulling your pants up or down.  Maybe. 

Now, I did have my cell phone out in the stall to take that picture for bloggy goodness but I can guarantee you that I was not going to drop it into the bowl.  My hand was like a vise grip on that phone.  If I HAD, I wouldn't have left it there!  While it'd be gross to pick it out, it's my pee (unless, as the first line suggests, someone else didn't flush) and I can wash my hands when I'm done.  I'd put the cell phone in a wad of paper towels to get it home and figure out how to get it replaced.  Flush it?  No way in hell!  How does that saying go?  It's like fitting a round peg in a square hole?  Even if I didn't want that cell phone back, it's not going to fit through that hole and down the pipe.  Common sense people. 

The shoes perplex me.  How on earth would shoe get into a toilet bowl?  My mind was racing with scenarios that would cause that to happen.  Was someone standing on the seat?  Was someone doing a leg kick like a Rockette with a loose shoe?  How DOES a shoe get into a toilet bowl? 

If by some strange twist of fate a shoe did land in there, why would anyone flush that sucker?  Did they go in with two shoes and leave with one?  Did they toss the odd shoe and go barefoot?  I'm going to wonder about this for a long time.


Vegas Linda Lou said...

That's hysterical! Reminds me of a list of things an ER nurse told me she's pulled out of men's asses.

Liz said...

Capital O, capital M, capital G! Linda, I think I'll stick to wondering how a shoe goes into the toilet and NOT think about what was pulled from men's asses! HA!!

Pat said...

Maybe it's like Thunderdome; two shoes enter, one shoe leaves!

I love Vegas Linda Lou's comment! ;)

Judy said...

Ewwwwwwwww! Regarding the shoe thing -
Who knows? Maybe some people carry around a spare?

Liz said...

Pat - Thundersome! I didn't think of that! HA. Maybe, just maybe.

Liz said...

Judy - A spare? How do you have a spare shoe? Buy two pairs of the same one? Even I, the shoe whore, wouldn't do THAT!! HA HA!

Michael Strauss said...

Bloggy goodness! That's my new favorite phrase! Regarding the shoe; haven't you ever flushed the toilet with your foot because it was just too nasty to touch with your hand? Maybe it's different for women...but when you gotta go...you gotta go! Still, how many times did it happen that it had to be added to the list!?

Liz said...

Mike - I know that most men have told me they've had to flush with their foot. I've never had to do that. But, if I had to, my shoes are not so ill fitting that I'd lose one in the toilet!! And, I don't buy cheap shoes. I'll make damn sure one isn't falling off. HA!