Wednesday, June 8, 2011

More creepy things.

I've never been afraid of bugs or worms.  The only exception is the world famous centipede (actually, not afraid but creeped out).  If you haven't heard, here's my story about that.

We just got back from a vacation in Mexico.  I had a strange encounter there that has made me realize that I might be am turning into a wuss!  I AM afraid of crawly things.

While sitting on a lounge chair next to the pool, I put a foot down to get up and saw a crab looking up at me from the concrete.  I yanked my foot back up onto the chair and watched his every move.  I was so afraid that he'd climb up there and bite me with his pinchers.  He was only about 3 inches across but in my moment of fear, I estimated that he was about 3 FEET across! 

I watched as he scooted towards my beach bag and then was scared terrified that he crawled in there.  I finally picked it up and shook it to make sure it was safe (holding the corners with my fingertips like you'd pick up a dirty Kleenex).  I called out to Angry who was in the pool to see if he could spot the little bugger.  He confirmed that he was nowhere to be seen.

A day later, we were eating dinner at the outdoor restaurant.  Angry looked at me funny while shaking his foot and said, "Must be a bug crawling on me."  He looked down and said, "It's a crab!  Is that your crab?"  I looked over the side of the table and there was my friend nemesis from the pool!!

Evil. Pure evil. Those eyes say he wants to bite me!

I jerked my feet up from the ground and told Angry to “make him go away.”  Instead, he turned on the camera and started taking pictures!!  He actually followed him as he ran across the restaurant.  Mr. Crabby finally wedged himself between a chair leg and a wall and I felt safe enough to put my feet down and finish dinner.  Whew, disaster avoided!

Our waiter laughed and offered to catch and have him cooked for us to enjoy at dinner.  We declined the offer.  Everyone had a great laugh and I continued to make sure he was far away from my feet.

Why the fear?  I don’t have a clue.  But I can assure you that if that son of a bitch had been crawling on MY foot, I would have screamed the a little school girl and kicked my leg so hard that he would have landed in the next century.

Was he stalking me?  Why show up at the pool and then at dinner?  Would he try to get on the elevator and follow me to my room?  I imagined a knock on the door and hearing, “Room Service.”  (Anyone remember the Land Shark skit on Saturday Night Live?)  Would he try to get into my suitcase and follow me home?

I know, I know.  We were actually kidding and laughing at the thought of his trying to get on the elevator but I was scared of him.

Do I need some sort of therapy?  I don’t think so.  Just keep those creepy crawlies away from me and I'll be fine.


LeeAnn said...

You're in good company. I'm terrified of bugs, anything creepy crawly I think might creepy crawly on me. Those little skittery crabs have scared me too, once so bad I wound up on top of the refrigerator.
Of course, that was back when I could climb a fridge. I might have to just settle for an icechest now.

Liz said...

Ha LeeAnn!! I can surely understand how you feel (and I'll stop calling you surely!). I have to admit, I've never thought to climb any furniture to get away from these critters! Good idea!