Friday, July 22, 2011

That was some shitty driving!

Yesterday, I was driving behind what may have been the most idiotic person ever.
We were on the freeway where the speed limit is 50 MPH.  We were also in a construction zone which meant I couldn’t pass the asshat.
First of all, he was driving 35 MPH.  Since we were moving so slowly, I had plenty of time to take in the scenery.  I decided to watch him instead.  I noticed that he was holding a cell phone up to his right ear.  One less hand on the steering wheel. 
Suddenly, his left hand was hangin' out the window!  TWO less hand on the steering wheel.  How WAS he steering? 
Then, he slammed on his brakes.  SLAMMED.  He came to a complete stop.  On. The. Freeway.  Since there was no one in front of him, he apparently did this for no good reason.  Maybe he was having some trouble steering? 
Next, he took off like a meteor racing through the sky.  I’d guess he was going at least 65 (sill in the 50 MPH zone right smack in the middle of construction).  Hmmm . . . Maybe the foot he was possibly using to steer slipped off the wheel and onto the gas pedal?
When we finally hit a point where I could pass him, he started swerving in and out of his lane.  I didn’t see the hand hanging out the window anymore but he was still chatting it up on the cell phone.  Distracted, one-handed driving is always a great idea.  No?
Let’s see. . . driving WAY under the speed limit; driving way OVER the speed limit; driving with one hand; driving with NO hands; chitchatting on a cell phone; veering all over the road.  I think he covered the most reckless maneuvers available to drivers.
I’m glad I got away without getting into an accident.  Or maybe not; I would have loved to give this guy a piece of my mind and my foot up his ass. 


Vegas Linda Lou said...

People on cell phones--I want to shoot them. I'm a lousy driver myself (line from my comedy: "I never get in accidents, but I hear them happening behind me"), but even I'm not THAT bad! He would be lucky to get away with just a foot up his ass.

Liz said...

Linda, I wonder what else was going on in that car. He was very involved in everything BUT driving.

Ricki said...

And why, oh why, are there never any police around when there's some
a**wipe like this on the road?

Liz said...

Oh Ricki, I've said that about a billion times! This guy needed a big fat ticket. Oh well, at least he gave me something to blog about! HA1

Laura said...

I have found that everyone on the road is a dumbass except me and really, I'm not that good a driver.

Liz said...

Laura - Are they dumbasses because they are driving better than you? Or worse? I'm not sure I want to be on the road at the same time you are. HA!