Friday, September 2, 2011

Toilet Etiquette Number 2

Get it?  Number 2?  I crack myself up.

Anyway. . .  Yesterday I gave you some rules for the bathroom.  I spoke to Angry last night and asked him if men behaved any better.  He thinks they are probably worse.  He’s obviously not been in some of the ladies rooms I’ve been in.

According to Angry, here are rules for you men to follow:

ü  When at the urinal, keep your eyes straight ahead.  Don’t sneak a peek at anyone else’s “nasty bits.”  You may not actually be doing this but it looks like you are.

ü  The urinal is not the place for a conversation.  Shut up and pee already.

ü  Do NOT throw garbage into the urinal.  Where do you think it’s going?  The small drainage holes do not allow your trash to get flushed.  Garbage cans are there for a reason.

ü  If you pee in the stall, lift up the damn toilet seat.  Don’t leave yellow droplets all over it.  Someone may actually have to sit down on that thing.

ü  Don’t paint poop graffiti in the stalls.  Who does this?  What the hell is the matter with them?  That’s rude nasty sickening.  Um, I changed my mind.  Men behave way worse than women!

Obviously, men need to follow some of the rules I listed yesterday.  Here they are in case you are too lazy to go back and read that post:

ü  Don’t talk on you cell phone in the stall.  Potty time is personal.  Keep the phone in your pocket.  What about the germs?  What do you think’s on your phone now that you used it in a public restroom stall?  Not a pleasant thought.

ü  Don’t try to hide out and smoke in a stall.  Wisconsin has a smoking ban in all public buildings.  It’s the law.  No one wants to smell like your ashtray.

ü  Flush the toilet.  Every time.  Why is there yellow or, heaven forbid, brown stuff in the bowl?  The handle is right there so use it!  This goes for the urinal as well.  No one wants to see your "debris."

ü  Wash your hands!  Every time.  Why would anyone use the bathroom and leave without using soap?  Someone is going to have to use that handle that your pee (or poop) hands just touched.  That’s uncivilized.

Men, memorize these and we’ll all be much happier!


Ricki said...

I always liked to think that women were less "gross" than men were, but after using public bathrooms, I'm afraid this isn't true. The fact that some women are too lazy to flush the toilet saddens me. And the number of females I see leaving the bathroom without washing really amazes me. God, no one has any couth anymore!

Liz said...

Ricki - I work in an office filled with professional people. College degrees, further education and testing that is required by my industry. You'd think they could flush? Someone either forgets regularly or just doesn't care. And hand washing? Not sure people remember how! It's gross.

Laura said...

Uggh women are swine in the bathrooms at work.

Liz said...

Laura - I imagine your Bunch 'o Bitches actually doing the poop grafitti. I hope I'm wrong!