Thursday, September 1, 2011

Toilet Etiquette

This should be simple.  I’ve come to the conclusion that it isn’t quite so for some people.

I can’t speak for men as I don’t use their bathrooms.  I’m sure there are similar problems.  I’ll ask Angry and maybe get you a list of rules about them as well.

Here are the rules; follow them.

ü  Don’t try to hide out and smoke in a stall.  Wisconsin has a smoking ban in all public buildings (lots of other states do as well).  The bathroom is part of the building (check the blueprints if you are doubting me).  We can smell you in there!  I don’t want to stink like your ashtray.

ü  Don’t talk on you cell phone in the stall.  That’s just plain WRONG.  First of all, you are confusing me.  Unless I heard your phone ring, I think you are talking to me.  Second, potty time is personal.  Keep the phone in your purse or pocket.  Third, germs!  What do you think’s on your phone now that you used it in a public restroom stall?  Not something I’d want near my face if I were you.

ü  If you are waiting for someone, move away from the door.  Everyone else thinks there’s a line waiting for a stall.  I do realize that there are some small bathrooms out there.  If you’re in one of them, let people know that you are not in line when they walk up and stand behind you to wait.  Don’t make me ask you; flag me on to relief.

ü  If you feel the need to re-do your makeup, get out of the way for people who actually want to wash their hands.  Your face can wait a minute while I clean up.

ü  Don’t spray hairspray all over everyone.  We don’t all want to be as flammable as you with that can of Aqua Net.

ü  Same rule for perfume.  Don’t spritz everyone near you.  We are not all fans of Chanel No5 and I don’t want to wear some of yours.

ü  Flush the damn toilet.  Every time.  Especially if you poop.  Why do I go into so many stalls and see yellow or, heaven forbid, brown stuff in the bowl?  The handle is right there so use it!  No one wants to see what you were doing in there.  Fact.

ü  Wash your hands!  Every time.  What would possess anyone to use the bathroom and leave without cleaning up?  Gross Disgusting!  I don’t want your pee (or poop) hands to touch the same door handle I have to use.  I wash up.  Don’t make my sink time useless.

Now that we’ve all be educated, I expect much better behavior.  Capish?


Jann said...

What always shocks me is poop ON the freakin' toilet seat! Who does that? I travel for a living and am forced to use public restrooms and I cannot tell you have many times I have gone into the Ladies Room and found poop on the only toilet/seat in the bathroom.

What?! Were they raised by wolves?

If I find droplets of tinkle on the seat, I wad up paper and clean it ... but the poop mess? Ugh!

After I wash my hands, I use the paper towel that I dried my hands with to open the bathroom door and find a trash can elsewhere for the towel ... I refuse to touch anything in there after I have washed. I am no germophobe but I see their messes and am force to act like one.

Liz said...

Jann - I did forget to mention the "droplet" problem. I should edit and add that. But poop? What the hell is the matter with people? I feel bad that you have to travel and deal with that all the time. Yuck!!