Thursday, February 17, 2011

I almost kicked some butt at the zoo!

This is an old story.  I think it’s worth sharing.

We are lucky to have one of the top zoos in the country right here in our city.  We don’t visit as often as we should but we do try to hit it up a few times every year.

They have an event every summer called Zoo a la Carte.  You can visit the zoo during and after hours to sample food from many local restaurants and see live music by local bands.

We were at this event several years ago.  We spent the evening tasting lots of good food, listening to music, and enjoying the animals.  As we got close to the exhibit of Brown Bears, I noticed a couple pulling a child in a red wagon.  The wagon also had a cooler filled with what I will assume was beer since I got a strong scent of it as I got closer to them.  I watched as the man tossed several peanuts into the bear enclosure.

The ensuing conversation went like this:

ME (speaking towards him but not necessarily directly to him):  The sign says “Don’t feed the animals.”
Stupid Ass Man:  These are just peanuts.
ME:  Oh, I’m sure they are just like the bags of peanuts that the bears buy in the wild.  They are NOT supposed to be eating those.
SAM:  Like a couple of peanuts are gonna hurt.
ME (getting louder and more upset):  They are not good for the bears. That’s why they explain it to you on the big sign right there. 
SAM:  Geeze . . .
ME (leaning towards the guy getting ready to knock the peanuts out of his hand):  Do you need me to get a zookeeper to explain this to you?
SAM (putting his hand up, palm towards my face):  Talk to the hand. 

Not the actual hand!
He then turned quickly and started to walk away.  Angry later told me he was moving closer in case it got physical (he’s a little protective of his wifey). As the asshole got a few feet away, he turned and threw another handful of peanuts into the enclosure and looked to see if I was watching.

I really wanted to go over there and kick his butt.  I was ticked off.  I do understand that isn’t the right thing to do so I kept calm and walked the other way.  I like to think that I would have won that battle.  He was so SMOOTH with that “talk to the hand” comment that I just know I could have sucker punched him and knocked him to the ground.  What. A. Loser.

Needless to say, we do NOT visit the zoo during their a la Carte event anymore.  They allow dumb assholes like this to bring their own booze.  Then they do stupid things that endanger the animals.  I don’t want to be forced to kick some butt!

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